It’s not you, it’s me

Over the last few days I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about friendship and how hard it’s been for me to make friends. I’m a lot better at it now but there was a time when I couldn’t make a friend to save my life. I logically understand that it was my fault, but just because you know facts doesn’t mean you truly get it.

To be blunt, high school was a  nightmare. As I look back I realize I was doing everything wrong.

I was more than a little irritating

One key to making friends is to have a pleasing personality. This doesn’t mean you are vanilla but you shouldn’t go out of your way to bug people.

I was selfish

Like any relationship friendship is about giving. I didn’t get that and was always looking for what was in it for me, and I never wanted to give anything in return. Surprise! People don’t like that and start to avoid you.

I did nothing to find common interests

Friendships come together because of multiple things in common. The more common interests you have the better the friendship. Most interests require work. Sports require hard work and practice but would have connected me with the jocks. If I had ever done my homework I would have gotten straight A’s and been friends with the scholars. Showing up to speech and debate practice would have connected me with the speech team…and I probably would have been one of the top speakers in my state.

I ignored their attempts at being my friend

In spite of all my flaws I still had a few friends, but boy did I make it hard for them. I can’t tell you how many people tried to be my friend but I turned my back on them.

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2 Responses to “It’s not you, it’s me”

  • Patrick Scherrer

    Ummm….don’t forget the times you put them in cars with Scott Summers and bad things happened.

  • Brandt Smith

    Pat – If I remember right it was usually me and my big mouth that got us in all the trouble…at least until you became a marine and thought you could take on the entire world by yourself!

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